I have eaten one too many dry, tasteless turkeys and far too many mushy, steamed turkeys to stay quiet any longer. STOP KILLING YOUR POOR TURKEYS TWICE! I can see why the turkey that gets the official pardon every year at the White House seems so happy. No bird deserves to die twice. Turkey is probably one of the easiest birds to screw up. It’s only made once or twice a year in most households, the full carcasses are fairly large, have a lot of empty space, and somewhere along the line some jerk decided basting and stuffing it with dry bread was a good idea.

I have developed a set of rules for making a moist, succulent, delicious turkey without fail that will make a perfect centerpiece to your Thanksgiving table.

1. Pick a good turkey!
2. Brine your turkey! No ifs, ands, or buts. Brine your bird at least overnight (24 hours is better)
3. NEVER EVER baste your turkey. It will dry out your meat, leave the skin soggy, and require longer to cook to temperature.
4. The single worst thing you can do to a turkey is stuffing it with dried out bread. It will suck all the moisture out of the meat and into the dry bread.
5. Do not rely on the spring loaded thermometer to tell you when your turkey is done. Use a probe thermometer.
6. Cook the skin to crispy golden brown first.

Picking a Good Bird:

In order to serve a rock star turkey, you must start out with a rockstar turkey. So let’s get something straight: quality costs more. Stop thinking you are going to go to the supermarket, buy $100 worth of groceries, and get a free turkey. You may get a turkey but it won’t be a good one. The best turkeys are obviously pasture raised, but I understand $3.50 per pound is a lot of money when buying a 15 pound bird. Obviously they are better for you and for the environment but not for your wallet. So do the best you can.

If you can’t afford a pasture turkey, find the plumpest bird you can in your weight range at the grocery store. If you are purchasing from a grocery do not buy a turkey that says it is brine injected or enhanced with a solution of salt water. That is what you are paying for, LOTS OF WATER which is why it’s cheap. Before injection that turkey weighed a lot less. Buying a turkey is a time where it pays to have a good relationship with a local butcher. Your best bet, if you’re not buying from a farm is to order from a butcher. Why? Local butchers have relationships with distributors and farmers. They are going to pick the best quality they possibly can for the price. Local butchers rely on repeat business so they do not want to disappoint their customers. Grocery stores can disappoint you because for most of us there is little other choice than the main local chain grocery. Don’t go into the shop the day before Thanksgiving expecting to find a turkey. Go to the butcher’s shop a week or two early and place an order. If there is any question of what type of turkey you’re getting just ask.

If your family is like mine and likes white meat you want to get a hen. If your family is not so excited about the white meat get a tom. That is the only difference between the two. Toms tend to weigh just slightly more but the difference is only a pound or two. How big a bird you need depends on the number of people for dinner. To get through Thanksgiving, a good rule of thumb is one pound (pre-cooked weight) per person. In reality I know most of us plan for, and want leftovers, so depending on how much you would like left after dinner you will probably want one and a half pounds or two pounds per person. If you plan on people taking home leftovers, make it two pounds a person. We are expecting eleven for dinner so I’m getting at least an eighteen pound bird.

Brining (at Home):

I’ve shown you how to brine a chicken. It’s the same concept with a turkey, only larger. A CLEAN 5 gallon bucket usually makes a good vessel but it’s hard to fit in the fridge. If it’s too warm to store your turkey in the garage for the night, like we do, use a large stock pot but cut the brine recipe in half. A simple brine of water, salt, and (some source of) sugar is usually enough, but for my turkeys, I love the following brine, based on apple cider.

Apple Cider Brine:

• 1 gallon apple cider
• 1 cup salt
• 2 large onions cut in quarters
• 1 head garlic (root end removed)
• 2 Tbsp allspice berries (whole)
• 2 Tbsp peppercorns
• 3-4 bay leaves
• 1 large finger, fresh ginger
• 1 Tablespoon fresh cloves
• 5 cinnamon sticks
• 1 gallon, heavily iced water

Heat all the ingredients except iced water in a large stock pot until it boils, then it to cool to room temperature. Pour your ice water into your bucket and add the remaining ingredients, mixing well. Clean out the cavity of your turkey, saving the neck for later. Lower the turkey into the brine and weigh it down to keep it immersed. Let it sit in brine overnight in the refrigerator, or if you live in a place where it is already under 40 degrees, in your garage.

Before you are ready to cook the turkey, preheat your oven to 500 degrees. Pull the turkey out of the brine and rinse it. Dry the turkey off with paper towels. Rub the skin with canola oil (DO NOT use butter or olive oil, their smoke points are too low). Place on a rack in your roasting pan. While you are waiting on the oven to heat, you can address the bird’s empty cavity.

Stuff the Cavity with Aromatics:

• 1 onion (quartered)
• 1 head garlic (root end removed)
• 2 apples
• a handful of fresh rosemary sprigs
• 3 cinnamon sticks
• NO BREAD! (Seriously… if we find out you’ve used bread, we’ll track you down, and it won’t be pretty!)

Add more if needed. They will infuse more flavor into the meat and keep it moist. The cavity should be full.

Bake for 30 minutes at 500 degrees. After that, reduce to 350 degrees. Cover the turkey in a breastplate of foil (enough to cover the skin of the breasts to prevent the breast from drying out). Pierce one of the breasts with a probe thermometer to the middle of the meat. If you hit the bone, you have gone too far, try again. Set the alarm on the thermometer to 165 degrees. A 12 pound bird will take between 2.5 and 3 hours in the oven. Larger birds take longer, be patient.

When the alarm goes off on your thermometer, take your turkey out of the oven and off the roasting rack onto a large platter. Let the turkey rest for 10-15 minutes before carving (go ahead, have a beer and take a breather you deserve it!). After dinner be sure to save your carcass to make some delicious stock.